Season 3 - Episode 2: What Does it Mean to “Win” a Negotiation?
Is taking all you can get in a negotiation actually good for you or your business? Most people would tell you that yes, you must get everything you can. They may even argue that that is the point of the confrontation. But it’s short sighted - pushing to get everything in a negotiation will leave your opposition in a rough place, souring the goodwill you may have created with them. What’s more, even the intention of trying to “get it all” can counter-intuitively set you back.
In episode 2 of Season 3 and our Negotiation Elevation series, we cover what actual negotiation “success” ought to look like.
Background Story
Dave here. On a few occasions we were pushed to make major concessions to difficult future customers. Frankly, it made us a little peeved at the customer. It started the engagement with a bad taste in our mouth. In some cases, it was a sign of things to come. We wished we hadn’t made the deal and simply walked. These are painful lessons.
The customers that treated us with respect and as equals, even if they were “tough”, were the all-stars. We respected and worked hardest for them.
Negotiations get weird for lots of reasons. Sometimes they’re too long, highly confrontational/terse, the parties are left feeling had, or there’s a fundamental disrespect of the others’ experience or expertise. In any event, we rarely asked for something without providing a creative option for the customer to gain too. It wasn’t just that we got what we wanted, it was that we maintained the relationship with the customer. It was a big key to our success.
Outline
What Does Negotiation Success Look Like?
How to “Win” in Modern Negotiations
Busted Myths
Myth: You have to be a jerk to win a negotiation
Myth: Take everything you can get, regardless of the other parties’ needs
Learnings
What Does Negotiation Success Look Like?
We all want it both ways: to get what we want from a tough negotiation and to walk away with our relationship intact.
Counterintuitively, you don’t want to “own” them. Leaving them with nothing poisons the well, particularly in recurring sales engagements.
People think they either have to be nice in order to spare hard feelings, or overly tough in order to win. But that’s “a false dichotomy and an incredibly dangerous one.” - Jeff Weiss, a partner at Vantage Partners, and author of the HBR Guide to Negotiating.
How to “Win”
Here’s how to negotiate to produce a lasting relationship and an outcome that works for you.
Fear: First off - and this isn’t for everyone, but I want you to hear it - stop being afraid. We’ll talk more about the boogieman in negotiations - pricing negotiations - in our next episode, but regardless, move away from fear. You always have options, you can always make it work. Fear isn’t going to help you - it’s time to reframe with composure. You can’t be calm and scared at the same time.
ZOPA: Consider your ZOPA - Zone of Potential Agreement (William Ury). There’s a scale of getting what you want, make sure you’re healthily in it. Consider some red-herrings; they may only be non-issues to you, but have actual value to them.
Small Talk, Big Results - Get to know the other side. Whether internal or external, rapport is the key. I like to say “everyone is selling all the time”; no one “buys” from someone they hate. With that in mind, ask good questions and, as always, empathize. You need to understand
Concessions for Nothing Don’t Buy Rapport - Giving in on something, without getting something else, doesn’t endear you to them. If anything, it makes you look cheap. They may actually lose respect. TOys going downstairs
Frame the confrontation as a “collaboration”. After all, you all want something the other side has, or you wouldn’t be there. This is actually a collaboration - a meeting of two interested and motivated parties to get something done. It’s not a fight.
Negotiations almost always require creativity. It’s a solution-building exercise - how can you meet their needs and yours. It’s technical, legal, or financial gymnastics.
BATNA: Also, what’s your BATNA? Can you walk away? Being able to walk is a powerful option - not to use against “them” but for you to have in your pocket if they end up employing a more “dick-ish” strategy.
A good negotiation also sets you up for a good project / follow through. Respect is earned, oftentimes, through the pre-deployment/execution negotiation. Justice or a perceived injustice is one of the strongest motivators. If you take them for a bath, they will be demotivated to work with you, despite the negotiation outcome.
Summary
Winning is getting what you need while maintaining the relationship.
You win by keeping some principles in mind: No place for fear, consider your ZOPA, small talk has big results, concessions for nothing don’t buy rapport, it’s a creative collaboration, and don’t forget your BATNA
In all, reframe how you think about negotiations - it’s not a fight, it’s a dance.
Data And References
How to Negotiate Nicely Without Being a Pushover
by Carolyn O’Hara, April 09, 2015
https://hbr.org/2015/04/how-to-negotiate-nicely-without-being-a-pushover